Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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