if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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