she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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