My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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