i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
