It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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