Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
