he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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