i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
