im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
