Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
