The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
