My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
