do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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