I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
