Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
