Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
