I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
