i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
