He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
did i walk over a car last night?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
