I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Farmville is her only friend.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
