I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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