she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
