Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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