I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
