What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
