i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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