I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's blow job season.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
