He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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