i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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