honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
