I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
