after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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