Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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