Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
