So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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