i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
