Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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