when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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