I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My vagina is officially offended.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
