found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize