So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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