Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
