jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
