you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
