Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
