That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
