is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
where are my eyebrows?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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