I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
