Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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