We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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