he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
