census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
