I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize