My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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