I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
