What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
