Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
